Láska a Potreba
by peskyhumanity
Summary: Everyone should experience real love before fake marriage.


**A/N: *Please read* I know that this is a very small opening chapter but I didn't want any human interactions in here. All I wanted was an insight to Stefan and Elena's heads. This will be a multi-chapter story, but I don't make any promises on the quickness of the updates. I hope you enjoy this. **

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**ELENA'S POINT OF VIEW**

I'm always needed; for everything. I was needed to protect my little sister, even though I was a mere eight of age. I was needed to be successful in school. I was needed to stay away from boys because my future was already planned for me. I _am_ needed to look pleasant at any time of the day. I am needed to act appropriately and not lose my temper, every day of my life. I am needed to smile and laugh, even when I want to scream and kick. I am needed to listen to every suggestion of every person, when I just want to lie in my bed and tune the out the world. I am needed make the decision of whether to spare someone's life or execute them. Furthermore, I am needed to choose which form of execution would be used.

Why am I needed for everything?

I am needed to choose the men and women for my inner courts and respect them always. I am needed to make choices for everyone. They come and ask a question about their life, I am needed to tell them what to do. I am needed to make a perfect example for the commoners in the village. I am needed to make the decision of war or peace. I am needed to always be prepared for everything, barely getting a moments rest. I am needed to be the face of royalty.

When I was a little girl, my mother told me that it was great to be needed. The feeling of it was so powerful. That you have everyone and everything at arms reach. My father told me the same thing; you are up to your neck in power when you are needed, you are as happy as can be, everyone supports you and everyone backs you up. Everyone in my life has told me it's a good thing to be needed. Then tell me, if I'm needed, why do I feel so miserable? If I'm needed, why do I feel so alone? If I'm needed, why do I feel so powerless?

You know what being needed did to my family? It got them killed. My father first, then my mother, then my poor, innocent little sister. Who on Earth has the heart to kill a seven-year-old? _She_ was needed. I needed her and she was taken away from me. Her and her olive skin, dark brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes; just like me. She was so innocent that she wouldn't let the thought of killing a fly cross her mind. So tell me then, why is being needed feel so outstanding when it does such horrible things?

I need someone to explain to me why being needed is so amazing if the only thing it does is get your family killed. I _need_ people to leave me alone, just for five minutes, so I can think peacefully. I _need_ the people of my inner courts to shut their mouths for just a second so I can get a word in. I _need_ to not be in charge. I _need_ to be a normal seventeen-year-old; sewing clothes with my mother, doing my little sisters hair, chasing boys because I'm not engaged. But that's not me. That could _never _be me and it _will_ never be me.

My name is Elena Gilbert; and I am the Queen of Slovakia. I came into power at the age of fifteen because of the death of my family. I am the only Gilbert left in the world and in a year's time, there will be _no_ Gilberts in the world. I am engaged to the Prince of Poland in efforts to combine our countries and make a stronger military; also to protect my country from Hungary. Once again, I am needed. I'm needed to sacrifice any chance at love I have for the well-being of my country. But, that's just what queens do. They sacrifice everything for their country. My mother sacrificed everything for my father. She left her small little country and came here. To this retched place.

The difference between my parent's marriage and my soon-to-be marriage is that they had met before. At a ball one year, my father was fifteen and my mother was fourteen. They didn't know that they were betrothed, so they just acted like two teenagers. Father always told the story of how he _knew_ my mother was the one. The day after the ball he had a room arranged for her and insisted that she moved in at once. When the day came that my grandfather told my father that he and my mother were betrothed… Father said it was the happiest day of his life.

My parents were the most loving and compassionate people I knew, until they became needed. All the power went to their head and they obviously still loved each other, but they became cocky and big-headed. They created new enemies every day and soon discovered that enemies were disguised as friends. Their love for being needed is what imminently led to their downfall.

When I came to power, I could see the doubt and disgust of everyone who was previously in the castle. Hell, I see it when we are face-to-face, every single time I have a conversation with an elder. They think I'm an incompetent fool who has no clue what she has been doing for two years. I have kept this country, and the people inside of it, safe. I have made knew allies who promised to protect us when we cannot protect ourselves. I have made more rational decisions than three-quarters of the elders in the courts. I brought this country out of a damned recession and still I get treated like a child. All that the elders care about is money and alcohol. They're intoxicated half of the time, which leaves all their responsibilities to me. And since I'm the queen, I have to hold my tongue and do my duties.

All I want is one day to myself. I want to roam the grounds of the castle and disappear in nature. I want to sit under a tree and read a book, or write in my journal. I want to feel my skin soaking in the rays of the sun and I want to feel the grass under my feet. I want the light breeze rustling through my hair. I want to hear the birds chirping and the frogs croaking and the bells of the clock tower in the village. I want a lot of things. I want my presence to be wanted. I want to be loved because of me and not because of my country. I want to be hugged just because someone wants to be close to me. I want to be kissed because someone wants to feel their lips against mine. But there's a problem with all of that.

_I'm always needed._

I'm always needed; but I'm never wanted.

I'm always needed; but I'm never loved.

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**STEFAN'S POINT OF VIEW**

I don't know who I am. I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to be. I don't remember my past. I don't know about my future. _Where_ am I supposed to go? _What_ am I supposed to do? _When_ am I supposed to do it? _Why_ am I supposed to do it? I've always been so lost. I think I have everything figured out and then it starts to crumble apart. I was never educated. Maybe I'm stupid. No, I know I'm stupid. I should know about my future. I should at least know what will happen tomorrow, but I don't.

_I don't know._

What I do is what I've only been taught. They say I'll do this for the rest of my life. I was okay with that. I'm still okay with that. I'll be okay with that for as long as I live. I don't have anyone to guide me through life. I'm completely alone. I have no one who cares for me. No one would care if I disappeared. Hell, I wouldn't even care if I disappeared. Sure, I supply everyone in the castle with food and nutrition, but if I just vanished… no one would care. They would find another person to do what I do and I would be forgotten in the minds of everyone. Not like I would care, though.

I am a shell of a person. I don't feel anything. I sleep, I wake up, I eat, I do my job, I sleep and then I repeat the process over and over again. I don't feel, I don't talk and I don't interact. I'm hard-wired to stick to a schedule. I'm hard-wired to have no emotion. It's a little extreme, but it's the truth. I am not allowed to feel attached to anyone. I can't make or have any relationships. I can't have any connections with anyone. I stay in the kitchen and I stay in my sleeping chambers. I never see outside the walls of those two rooms.

I can't want anything. I can't desire anything. I can't need anything.

_But, what if?_

What if the only thing that I want, is to be wanted. What if the only thing I desire, is to be desired. What if the only thing I _need; _is to be _needed._

My name is Stefan Salvatore; and I am the head cook of the castle of the country of Slovakia. I live to serve the queen of my country. That is what I was born to do. I have no family, not anymore. I was sixteen when my family was ordered to be killed for conspiring against the king; even though they weren't. So they were killed. My mother, my father, and my younger brother and sister. My brother and sister were killed for something they didn't even understand.

I'm twenty-one now and even though the death of my family still lives in me forever, the pain has eased. I can walk by a small girl or boy and not think about my brother or sister. I can smell the aroma of bread baking in the oven and not think about my mother; the way she slaved over the dough, kneading it to my fathers want and wish. I can walk into the kitchen I work at every day and not think of my father. This is where he worked. This is where he prepared meals for the royals and this is all I've ever known. Since I was a child I would play in here, during my father's younger years when he was lively and smiling all the time, and when he would actually pay attention to me. Sometimes I would knead bread, sometimes I would wash vegetables, but my favorite was baking the deserts; small tarts that had so much flavor. My father taught me how to make them and that's the one thing I have carried from him.

Of course, I have other cooks and bakers to help me, but I'm that kind of guy who likes to do everything by himself. I want to prepare the salads my own way, I want to create the entrée the way I envision it, and I want to bake my father's tarts for everyone in the kingdom to taste them. The most I have my fellow cooks do is wash fruits or vegetables, fetch me more ingredients from the town, or even do the dishes. That's why I'm mostly alone. Because I push everyone out of the kitchen and leave myself to do all the work.

But I'm okay with being alone. I always have been. Then I come back to that one question:

_What if?_

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**A/N: I really hoped you liked this. If you did please follow, favorite, and review it for me! Everything is appreciated. **


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